church strikes again

you may remember my struggle to find an awana program for calah this past summer.

after searching all over town, contacting 3 different churches and getting no response for months, we finally heard back. one church emailed me and told me (on august 25th), that they hadn't decided when they were going to start their program, and that they would get back to me (yeah, i'm not holding my breath).

the second church emailed me and were having their registration and "kick off" was august 29th. it was a sunday, not at a convienient time, and 2 days before i was scheduled to have eli. i was huge, hot and cranky.

the church we ended up going to, i chose for a couple reasons. first, they had a registration event first. it was a wednesday, so it was easier to get to than the other church. also, i knew about it sooner. second, we had kind of a history with that church. calah attended vbs there this past summer. lastly, i specifically asked them (as i did all the churches) if sariah could join cubbies  after she turned 3 in november.  they responded that she could.

from the get-go i was not impressed. the lady who does the check-ins for the sparks is unfriendly. the program is disorganized. none of the leaders seem nice. none of the kids seemed friendly.

calah cried after the first couple times she went. it broke my heart, but we stuck it out. we perservered. it's good for her, right? builds character? she's a brave girl.

well, sariah turned 3 on november 29. we waited until after the christmas holidays, and tonight was the first time she went. she was very excited.

when we got there, the unfriendly check in lady told me i had to go talk to jennifer, the lady in charge of the cubbies. i could already feel trouble coming.

jennifer tried to tell me that sariah is too young. i told her that i asked at the beginning of the school year, and was told yes, that sariah could start after she turned three.  her response? "you talked to the wrong person". that's it. not "sorry", or "maybe we can work something out" or "i apologize for the misunderstanding" (these are all things that I would say if the situation were reversed). jennifer went on to say that she's "been doing this for twenty years", and that sariah would "get much more out of it" if she "waited til next year".

my face must have said what my words did not, so she told me that if i stayed, sariah could join in the class tonight.  so i did. and sariah did great.  she participated in story time, raised her hand to answer questions, and in general behaved better than some of the regular kids (and i'm not just being biased. i watched from the corner and did not interfere).  she played games, listened to the teacher, and colored her page. 

the meeting, by the way, was pretty bad. it was spectacularly unorganized, and for being a "twenty year" veteran she was a pretty sucky teacher. there was no order, no plan, no organization. tons of wasted time. and way, way too many cookies. (i don't know about you, but giving my small girl multiple sugary red-dyed cookies right before bed isn't really in the plan). lucky for me, my good girl ate a couple, and then said no to more.

after the night was over, i asked jennifer if we could come back next week. she said no, she reccomended that we not come back until next year. (as if). it all seems pretty arbitrary to me. by next september she will be almost 4, and we will have lost a whole year of learning bible verses, singing songs, and playing with other kids and learning about jesus.

now i have to tell my sweet girl, who did so good, and behaved so well, just like a big girl, that she can't go back to cubbies. when she asks why, what should i tell her?

i am so angry right now.  if they had just told me, up front, that she could not start until next year, then that would have been ok, and i never would have mentioned it to her and i would not be in this predicament.

the worst part of it is that calah (after a whole semester of going) finally seems to be making friends. so what? i yank her out now? after the traumatic start she had? or let her keep going, but make sariah stay home? or start the search all over, and take sariah to a different church?

right now, i hate church, and church people. i am so, so angry and hurt on behalf of my girls.

so, all you church people, as you sit in your little meetings, trying to get people to come in to your church, trying to "present the gospel" to all of us "unchurched" heathens, think about this:

your words say "God loves you", but your actions SCREAM the opposite.

Comments

[Cari]

I'm sorry Jules. That must hurt to know one or both of your girls will be disappointed. I just don't get what some people think they're accomplishing by acting like that.

[Adriane]

Sad but so, so true.