so, it's been almost one year since we left church-world and struck out on our own to follow jesus. we have caused much concern within my family, who apparently believes that our immortal souls are damned to hell because we don't go to church.
lots of things have happened (and not happened) because we chose to leave church behind.
life has become simultaneously much simpler and 100x harder. it would be way more easier (that's right, way more easier) to just go to church, follow the little rules and judge all the people who don't do it "our way". instead, i have to constantly check myself--my attitudes, my assumptions, everything i ever learned--is it true? is it the best way to live? is it really what jesus would have done or would want me to do? sometimes thinking about it makes my head hurt to the point of exploding. (this is partly why i haven't been posting--the other part is because i'm lazy)
yet, even after a year, i'm still irritated thinking about what happened. the things that were said and done can still make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. i get so mad when i hear about stupid crap that is going on at other churches, other people who have been hurt and abused by people perpetrating crimes in the name of jesus.
i really want to go to a church and have it be right, have it be nice. but it never is. i miss the good parts of church--the people (some of them, anyways), the working toward a common goal (even if that goal was a giant pointless show that had almost nothing to do with god), the feeling of belonging to a group.
i made comment on a friend's blog, joking about how we should get some chips like the ones they give at AA after you've been sober for a year.
hi, my name is juli, and i've been church free for one year.
lots of things have happened (and not happened) because we chose to leave church behind.
life has become simultaneously much simpler and 100x harder. it would be way more easier (that's right, way more easier) to just go to church, follow the little rules and judge all the people who don't do it "our way". instead, i have to constantly check myself--my attitudes, my assumptions, everything i ever learned--is it true? is it the best way to live? is it really what jesus would have done or would want me to do? sometimes thinking about it makes my head hurt to the point of exploding. (this is partly why i haven't been posting--the other part is because i'm lazy)
yet, even after a year, i'm still irritated thinking about what happened. the things that were said and done can still make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. i get so mad when i hear about stupid crap that is going on at other churches, other people who have been hurt and abused by people perpetrating crimes in the name of jesus.
i really want to go to a church and have it be right, have it be nice. but it never is. i miss the good parts of church--the people (some of them, anyways), the working toward a common goal (even if that goal was a giant pointless show that had almost nothing to do with god), the feeling of belonging to a group.
i made comment on a friend's blog, joking about how we should get some chips like the ones they give at AA after you've been sober for a year.
hi, my name is juli, and i've been church free for one year.
