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screaming

i feel as if i could start, and never, ever stop

The Recipe Project: Zucchini Muffins

This recipe I printed from simplyrecipes.com last year, maybe, or the year before. It was folded in half and stuck in the basket.
Apparently I liked it, because I wrote, "good!" right on it. That's how I roll.

I started to make the recipe just how it's written.  I had good intentions. But...I changed it. Because that is also how I roll.

So, I had one zucchini from my garden. (It has not been a great year for the garden, let me tell you.) I cut off the yucky part and peeled off some of the skin.  I like the color that ends up in the muffin when you leave the zucchini skin on.

I figured that I would not have enough zucchini for the recipe, so I decided to add bananna to it.  I decided this because I had a bunch of over-ripe banannas hanging on the bananna stand in the kitchen, and I wanted to get rid of them.

So, I shredded my zucchini and mashed up 2 banannas.

Then, I mixed my wet ingredients in one bowl, and my dry in the other, according to the directions. (See, I can follow them...partly)

 
Oh, wait. I omitted the nutmeg.  I don't like nutmeg.  So, I guess I can't follow directions at all.

I also don't like to put walnuts, raisins, or any other chunky fruit or nuts in my muffins. (Unless it's blueberries. The rules do not apply to blueberries.)

Because of the bananna (I guess), I ended up with 12 muffins (filled to the top of the pan) plus a small loaf.

They turned out really good. Moist and not too bananna-y.  Because I am Super-Mom (and forgot to buy a real cake mix), Eli got a muffin for his birthday cake.

 

Here is the recipe, the second one to get the seal of approval for the binder.

Zucchini Muffins

 3 cups grated fresh zucchini

2/3 cup melted unsalted butter

1 1/3 cup sugar

2 eggs, beaten

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 teaspoons baking soda

pinch salt

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons cinnamon

Optional Ingredients:

2 mashed bananas

½ teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup walnuts

1 cup rasins or dried cranberries

applesauce

blueberries

chocolate chips

*****

 Preheat the oven to 350. 

In a large bowl, combine sugar, eggs, and vanilla.

Stir in zucchini (and banana or applesauce, if using), then melted butter.

Sprinkle baking soda and salt over zucchini mixture and mix in.

 In a separate bowl, mix together flour and cinnamon (and nutmeg, if using).

Stir dry ingredients into zucchini mixture. (Stir in walnuts, raisins, cranberries,  blueberries or chocolate chips if using)

 Grease muffin pan with non-stick spray.  Fill each cup completely. 

 Bake until muffins are golden brown, and the tops are springy to the touch, about 25-30 minutes.

 After 5 minutes, remove muffins from pan and allow to cool completely before storing.

 Or, eat warm, with a little butter and a cup of coffee.

 

The recipe is mostly copied from the one I printed from Simply Recipes, but I added some stuff and editorialized a little (I know, big shocker.)

The Recipe Project: Swedish Pancakes

Ok, it's been what? 3 weeks? And I've offically tried 3 recipes for this project. I know, I'm an over achiever.

I started with this recipe, written on the back of a letter from my favorite missionaries, Jill and Tony:

It was, by the way, folded up and shoved into my little black box. 

Then, I made it, exactly as it is written.  It's my mom's recipe, so the measurements are in deciliters (dL), sorry.  For those of you who do not like the metric system, a dL is just under 1/2 cup, according to my measuring cup.

I mixed all the ingredients in a pitcher till it's nice and frothy. (Don't ask me why a pitcher, it's my mother's fault.)
See the little bubbles?

Then I scooped a ladle-ful of batter into my well-oiled, trusty cast iron frying pan. (I spray with non-cook spray before the first, and between each pancake.)

 

You have to put in the ladle of batter, then pick up the pan and kind of swirl it around, so you get a nice thin layer of batter covering the entire bottom of the pan.  It's a little tricky to get the heat and the non-stick-ness of the pan just right. You may have to sacrifice the first couple of pancakes before it gets just right. (It's ok, those are the taste-test ones for the cook.)

Fry on one side until you see the little bubbles, like this:

Then flip, and fry just a moment on the second side.  Then, remove to a plate, and repeat until all the batter is gone.  Soon you will have a beautiful stack of pancakes.

Then, you eat them.  When I was a kid, we topped ours with strawberries, cool whip, butter, syrup, peanut butter, plain granulated sugar, and/or jelly. (I don't reccomend doing all of the above at the same time, but you can.) Then we rolled them, and cut them into little round bites.  They were quickly devoured.

 

Everyone loves them.

On the off chance that there are some left over (I actually make one extra person's worth), store them in the frige. They are good cold or reheated in the microwave.

Here is the actual recipe that will have the first spot in the coveted3-ring binder of deliciousness:

 

Mom’s Swedish Pancakes

 Ingredients (per person): 

1 egg

1 dL flour

2 dL milk or water

 ½ dL sugar per 4 people

½ tsp salt per 4 people

 Mix ingredients together thoroughly.  Ladle batter into hot greased frying pan. Swirl mixture around in pan so bottom is evenly coated by a thin layer of batter. Fry until just bubbly, then flip. Repeat until batter is gone.

 Serve hot with choice of toppings:

        Fruit (sliced strawberries, blueberries, canned peaches, etc)

       Jam

       Cool Whip

       Peanut Butter

       Butter

       Sugar

       Syrup

Enjoy!!

The Great Fish Debacle of 2011

We had an incident at out house, an incident I am calling "The Great Fish Debacle of 2011". (I am calling it that so it will not be confused with incidents resulting from fish occuring in other years, both past and future.)

We have what is known in the biz as an "Easy Hatch Aquarium". That is somewhat of a misnomer, because from my experience, nothing about this aquarium is easy.

I bought it actually for Christmas, but then realized that it cost a bunch of extra money for them to mail me the fish eggs in cold weather.  It was a tight Christmas to begin with, and I really didn't have $25 extra bucks for fish eggs. So, the aquarium sat on the shelf in the laundry room until just a few weeks ago.

Being the amazing homeschooling mother that I am (*snort*), I figured it would make an interesting little science project.  So, I ordered the fish eggs (now in the warm weather, they only cost $8) and anxiously awaited their arrival.

When they came, they came with a half-page of instructions, typed single spaced in super tiny font.

Here is what I did not realize, but should have: the fish have to be fed. 

What do you feed hatchling fish? you may ask.  Why, they eat brine shrimp, of course. Brine shrimp that I have to grow from scratch, in a little tiny bowl that was (convieniently) included with the aquarium kit. And, I have to suck said brine shrimp out of the bowl with an eye dropper (also conviniently included) and feed them to the teeny-tiny fishies.  Each fish requires 2-4 brine shrimp.  Have you ever seen brine shrimp? They are like microscopic wiggling dots.  Also, brine shrimp do not live long, so I (actually Mike) have to whip up a new batch every other day or so.

So far, not so easy.

We ended up with 4 tiny little fish. An average turn out, according to the literature.  They amazingly stayed alive UNTIL...

...an inquisitve child (who shall remain nameless) was "looking" at it, and spilled it all over the carpet and piano.

"You need to put more water in the aquarium", I am informed.

Um, what? Why?

"Because I spilled it".

There was a tiny bit of dirt/fish egg goo/fish poo(?) on the bottom with a little bit of water left. Ewww, and my carpet is all wet, and I can imagine the tiny fish gasping for air as they are getting ground into my carpet.

Well, after the dirt (or whatever was on the bottom) settled, I saw signs of life!!

As of this writing, we have two, possibly three fish babies still alive.  Who knows, they may die of PTSD later, but you never know. 

I gave them some extra brine shrimp as a reward for living through their experience.

the first week of school, a new tattoo and the recipe project

We started school this week, Calah in 2nd grade and Sariah in Pre-K.  We are using a packaged curriculum for Calah from My Father's World.  This has already made my life at least 8 million times easier than last year.  For Sariah, I had this giant box of pre-school-ish stuff that I had been saving from back when I thought I would write my own curriculum. Oh, what a silly goose I am! 

 
 
Here's Calah with her spelling book

 
Sariah, with her hair in her face, but at least she's not sticking out her tongue. 

...and the Boy Wonder, looking shockingly like his father after I've just mentioned the latest remodeling project I would like to start.

It's gone pretty well so far, but the lesson plans start you out gently, and ease you in, plus we haven't started piano, dance or awana yet. (Ah, Awana, the bain of my existance. Will it even happen this year? No body knows for sure because NO churches update their websites. But I digress...) So, we'll see how it goes once we're in full swing.

This week I got a new tattoo, or rather, a continuation of an old one.  I had a swirl of a bible verse on the inside of  my left forearm.  Now i have two more verses and some flowery-viney things in between. It's pretty sweet.

 
 
It hasn't peeled yet, so the colors still look very dark, but you can see it's going to start any time now. (bleh, it's the grossest part.)

I have decided to embark on a new project I am calling "The Recipe Project". This has been something i've been putting off for some time now, and will eventually make my life less complicated. Or at least that's the plan.  These projects have a way of making my life more complicated, somehow. But it needs to be done, so what the hay.

The plan goes something like this:

I will update my current filing "system", in favor of an organized, page protected 3-ring binder. (Pause a moment to consider the sheer wonderfulness of it. Mmmmm....three ring binder....)

 
Here is part of the filing "system". I call it the "basket o'crap" approach to organization.  It's possible I could get a book deal for that. Here's another part of the "system", the "broken file box":

 
Like the little picture I taped to the top? I thought it was pretty.

In the process of organizing the recipes, I will cook each one to decide if it is worthy of a spot in the page-protected bliss that will be my cook book.

At the moment I have approximately 4,000 recipes in about 15 places all over the house.  In the lean-to off the kitchen, on my computer, in a basket, in a file box, on the book shelf, in another basket...you get the picture.

The first recipe I'm testing is Swedish Pancakes.  It's kind of cheating because I use this recipe all the time, and I already know that everyone will eat it.  But, I have 6 kids to feed today instead of just 3 so we're going with a proven winner.

Even though I use it all the time, it's still written on a little piece of scrap paper and shoved into the basket...or maybe the filebox, I'm never quite sure where the recipes will end up after I use them.

on mail and magazines

today in the mail, among the snapfish pictures (yay!), an advertisement to redo my bathroom and some coupons for products i don't use, came my college magazine. 

in it are inspirational stories of what students and graduates are doing with their lives, book reviews, who's been born and who has died, things like that.

i used to like to get it, i would look at the birth announcements and see if anyone i graduated with was doing anything interesting. now after i look at it i feel like a big loser.

people are doing all sorts of amazing things--photographing celebrities in new york city, writing books, going to aftrica, attending seminary with their husband/wife.  me...not so much.

don't get me wrong, i usually like my life (except the evening after i've worked 2 night shifts in a row with not enough sleep).  i'm happy in my old (fixer-upper!) house, i have my little garden. i love my kids and husband. we have everything we need and most of what we want. it's just that...it's not very spectacular.

my lack of spectacular-ness is never more obvious to me than after reading the magazine. i want to be the one writing books and taking awesome pictures. i want people to read about me and say, "wow, that's cool".  instead, i wipe noses and countertops, i make dinners and lunches (and breakfasts), i go to work, i sleep...yup, a distinct lack of spectacular-ness.

i know i should (to quote a phrase that mostly makes me want to vomit and then punch the person who says it) "bloom where i am planted". i should make a difference where i am and do the best i can.

maybe it's because i don't feel like i am making a difference. i  just feel blah, boring, mediocre, un-spectacular. and nobody wants to read about that.

 

doctors

my life is filled with doctors.

as a nurse, i work with them everyday. as a parent--especially of an infant--i see them regularly.  you'd think i'd be used to them by now.

today we went to the pediatrician for eli's 4 month check up and sariah's 3-year check up. the experience was not quite...satisfactory.

i have been with this same pediatrician for 7 years now. i picked him before calah was born, and he is the only one we've ever been to. i had been quite happy with him up until last fall.  last year, he gave me such a hard time about not wanting the flu shot, i would have switched to someone else...if i had known of anyone better.

but, i didn't know of anyone else i could (or would) go to--working in the hospital and the doctor's office gives me an inside look into the way a doctor practices, and i just wasn't crazy about any of them.   and besides, we see the pediatrician once per year, maybe twice, if anyone gets sick. we're a pretty healthy bunch.

but now, with eli, we are going every 2-3 months for well-baby visits. 

i'm finding that through out 7 years and 3 kids my views and ideas about child care and rearing have evolved and changed.  somethings have become more important, and other things (that i thought were very important) have gone to the back burner.

my doctor's advice, however, has changed little, if at all, in the last 7 years. today i got basically the same advice i've gotten two other times i took a kid for a 4 month check...with some additional chastizing for not following the advice i got at the 2 month check.

i never leave his office feeling like a good mom, no matter what i do. i'm always doing something wrong...non compliant with the vaccine schedule, no flu shot, not feeding eli solid food in the right order...the list goes on.

i feel like i'm a pretty good mom (clearly, with some room for improvement) and my kids are pretty normal and healthy (despite my non-compliance).  does it really matter that i didn't wait 3 days inbetween giving carrots and peas? or that i gave (gasp!) fruits before all the veggies were introduced?

at this point, i'm not convinced it makes a difference. eli (poor kid) is the third child of a working mom. the world does not (and probably will never) revolve around him. if we eat carrots for dinner, i mush up carrots for him.  if we don't eat something appropriate for him, he gets whatever i have on hand--applesauce, banannas, avacado, etc.

i mean, i'm not a doctor, but i am a fairly experienced mom. you don't have to treat me like an idiot. and let's be honest, i'm not the kind of person who listens to advice and then follows it to the letter, no matter who is giving it. it's not a personal insult when i decide to do a different thing than what you're advising.

usually i just let it roll off my back, and go on doing my own thing. but today, the whole thing has left me with a vague sense of dissatisfaction.

another of life's mysteries...

sunday on the ride to church, the conversation went something like this...

calah: hey! my bible has maps in the back!

me: that's nice. many bibles have maps in the back.

calah: why do bibles have maps in the back?

me: maybe to show you how countries looked in bible times, or to show missionary journeys.

calah: (who is becoming a very good reader) i can see the red sea! except it's blue! why is it the red sea if it's blue?

me: i wish i had an answer for that.

church strikes again

you may remember my struggle to find an awana program for calah this past summer.

after searching all over town, contacting 3 different churches and getting no response for months, we finally heard back. one church emailed me and told me (on august 25th), that they hadn't decided when they were going to start their program, and that they would get back to me (yeah, i'm not holding my breath).

the second church emailed me and were having their registration and "kick off" was august 29th. it was a sunday, not at a convienient time, and 2 days before i was scheduled to have eli. i was huge, hot and cranky.

the church we ended up going to, i chose for a couple reasons. first, they had a registration event first. it was a wednesday, so it was easier to get to than the other church. also, i knew about it sooner. second, we had kind of a history with that church. calah attended vbs there this past summer. lastly, i specifically asked them (as i did all the churches) if sariah could join cubbies  after she turned 3 in november.  they responded that she could.

from the get-go i was not impressed. the lady who does the check-ins for the sparks is unfriendly. the program is disorganized. none of the leaders seem nice. none of the kids seemed friendly.

calah cried after the first couple times she went. it broke my heart, but we stuck it out. we perservered. it's good for her, right? builds character? she's a brave girl.

well, sariah turned 3 on november 29. we waited until after the christmas holidays, and tonight was the first time she went. she was very excited.

when we got there, the unfriendly check in lady told me i had to go talk to jennifer, the lady in charge of the cubbies. i could already feel trouble coming.

jennifer tried to tell me that sariah is too young. i told her that i asked at the beginning of the school year, and was told yes, that sariah could start after she turned three.  her response? "you talked to the wrong person". that's it. not "sorry", or "maybe we can work something out" or "i apologize for the misunderstanding" (these are all things that I would say if the situation were reversed). jennifer went on to say that she's "been doing this for twenty years", and that sariah would "get much more out of it" if she "waited til next year".

my face must have said what my words did not, so she told me that if i stayed, sariah could join in the class tonight.  so i did. and sariah did great.  she participated in story time, raised her hand to answer questions, and in general behaved better than some of the regular kids (and i'm not just being biased. i watched from the corner and did not interfere).  she played games, listened to the teacher, and colored her page. 

the meeting, by the way, was pretty bad. it was spectacularly unorganized, and for being a "twenty year" veteran she was a pretty sucky teacher. there was no order, no plan, no organization. tons of wasted time. and way, way too many cookies. (i don't know about you, but giving my small girl multiple sugary red-dyed cookies right before bed isn't really in the plan). lucky for me, my good girl ate a couple, and then said no to more.

after the night was over, i asked jennifer if we could come back next week. she said no, she reccomended that we not come back until next year. (as if). it all seems pretty arbitrary to me. by next september she will be almost 4, and we will have lost a whole year of learning bible verses, singing songs, and playing with other kids and learning about jesus.

now i have to tell my sweet girl, who did so good, and behaved so well, just like a big girl, that she can't go back to cubbies. when she asks why, what should i tell her?

i am so angry right now.  if they had just told me, up front, that she could not start until next year, then that would have been ok, and i never would have mentioned it to her and i would not be in this predicament.

the worst part of it is that calah (after a whole semester of going) finally seems to be making friends. so what? i yank her out now? after the traumatic start she had? or let her keep going, but make sariah stay home? or start the search all over, and take sariah to a different church?

right now, i hate church, and church people. i am so, so angry and hurt on behalf of my girls.

so, all you church people, as you sit in your little meetings, trying to get people to come in to your church, trying to "present the gospel" to all of us "unchurched" heathens, think about this:

your words say "God loves you", but your actions SCREAM the opposite.